Are IT workers and marketing folks considered as toxic assets in the Indian marriage market? Well, if you read this latest article by The Financial Times it seems that appears to be the case. Here is what they write:

Since the recession, Indian families have been increasingly cautious about marrying their daughters off to overseas Indians because of the bad economy in the west. Now they are becoming wary of their own country’s “techies” and bankers.

This is not the first article on this subject. A few months ago NDTV.com had a similar article on how Non-Resident Indian workers were not considered a good catch by Indian parents. The reason? The US financial meltdown.

Perhaps, the first inkling that marriage prospects for IT workers and marketing folks was entering a bleak phase was highlighted by this article in DNA in November, 2008.

My daughter tells me jobs in IT firms are no more stable and it is better to marry someone in the more traditional manufacturing sectors where there is greater job protection,” says Kurien.

Ironically, Kurien’s daughter works in the IT sector.

In the past few months I have noticed  similar stories have been published by various media outlets. I am wondering if such stories do more damage by reinforcing a certain stereotypical view of a certain section of the Indian population? I suspect many of them are walking a fine line line between fact and opinion on this subject.

Back in 2006-2007 I spent quite a bit of time in various parts of India meeting and talking to start-up entrepreneurs and their employees. It was then that I uncovered this curious fact. I say curious because my take was that in the last 15 years India has undergone a lot of economic, social and cultural changes. (economic liberalization, multiple TV channels, mobile phones, etc). I have witnessed changes in people’s attitude, where they appear to have become more open in their beliefs when to comes to lifestyle, marriage etc. A common refrain that I heard was that our child knows best and we are here to support them. But, if you open that black box called India and peer into the contents there is a whole different picture that emerges as I have discovered in the last few years. One of the big things that I uncovered was the role of parents in the professional lives of their children. Start-ups were a big no-no for many parents. The underlying concern for most parents was if somebody is working in a start-up would they make for a  good and reliable spouse? I had quite a few entrepreneurs tell me offline that prospective in-laws often called to find out about the economic viability of their start-ups or how much their prospective bride or groom is earning etc. This is what I wrote in that blog post, where one of the points I was trying to make is that perhaps it is time for Indian parents to recalibrate their attitude towards IT and tech industry.

In India parents play a big role on whether their kids can work in start-ups. Yes, that is right Indian parents play a pretty significant role  and need to be persuaded and convinced on why their kids should work in start-ups or early stage companies.

I understand the concerns of parents and some of them  are valid and in fact it is important to cover some of these issues. I have a hard time believing that this (many parents are opposed to IT and marketing folks) is a central trend in India. My sense is that there is a certain minuscule section of the 1.17 billion people in India who might consider IT workers and marketing folks as toxic assets. I think it is a shame that the term toxic assets is being used to describe a section of the population that put India on the global map. Instead of painting IT workers and marketing folks with a broad bush and viewing them in a negative light I think it is time to have a discussion and debate on this subject. What is important to find out is if the prospective bride or groom has strong ethical and moral values, and if they possess intergrity. Those are qualities that cannot be bought off a store shelf. Those qualities will hold a person in good stead through thick and thin, through their highs and lows in life. I think it is time for parents to open their minds and hearts and listen and gather information instead of jumping to stereotypical conclusions. Yes, there could be some IT workers, who may be facing a challenging situation. But, who in their lifetime has not faced a challenging situation? Nobody wants to be do poorly in life. You can advance forward in life with love, support and help and not by closing the door and jumping to conclusions. (Hint:maybe parents need to see Taare Zameein Par on how a young kid with learning disability shone through brilliantly with a little bit of love and support.)

Would today’s parents say no to a Narayana Murthy or a Nandan Nilekani or a Mahendra Dhoni ? I don’t think so.Take the case of Dhoni. After graduating from college he was working for Indian Railways and also playing cricket. He was just a regular guy, who happened to be good at sports and was making a decent living and happy driving his motor bike. But a lucky break (when preparation meets opportunity) for Dhoni turned him into a multi-millionaire overnight. There are numerous folks like Dhoni, who have got their lucky breaks. Thousands of people have relocated from small and big towns to large metropolitan areas to work in large IT and BPO companies. They have clearly moved up the ladder and are probably considered quite the “catch” if we were to use the metrics of Indian parents or their eligible children.

It is easy for me to offer pat advice, but what I do want to emphasize is that a lot can be achieved by keeping an open mind and heart and listening. I think it is important for Indian parents to recalibrate their attitude towards the IT and tech industry.

What do you think?